on your mark, get set

The Victoria Public Library is quite the place. My internet at home is down so I’ve been coming here to check email and get movies (the dvd collection is off the heeeezie). Yesterday I was sitting at a computer and there was a lady at the one directly in front of me. Our monitors were back to back so I couldn’t see her face but I could tell she was older, she had a walker and she was incredibly short and fat. And she was dying. I swear to god. Never have I heard such awful hacking coughing noises leaving a human beings body before. It was disgusting. This kept on for quite some time and she was being shot nasty looks from other people using the computers, particularly one guy who looked like your typical chemistry teacher, moustache and all. But she just kept on, hacking and sputtering away for the better part of an hour. She sounded like a really old shitty car that was running out of gas. Or a boat. It was incredibly unnerving. And what with this whole swine vomit thing being blown out of proportion again I thought she had H1N1 for sure. I continued doing what I was doing and after a while I noticed that the sounds of death coming from directly in front of me and ceased to be and I became curious. I was finished doing my thing on the computer and was standing to put my coat on when I looked at her and much to my shock discovered that the woman had fallen asleep. Hand on mouse, head bobbing up and down slightly with each breath, mouth open, tongue poking out of it. Asleep. And then I left the area. How the hell does someone just fall asleep after being so clearly close to the other side? It’s amazing.
I’m back here today and she is not. So if she did actually succumb, I take comfort in knowing her body was rushed away with incredible urgency and alacrity. Thankyou Victoria Public Library. You make me feel safe.